Husband and I for a while have been doing our best to prepare Miss D for the changes that will come when the new baby is here. One of the things we are trying our darndest to do is to get her to be more self-sufficient. Particularly with the things we know she can do herself, but often we end up helping her/doing it for her because it is easier than dealing with the fallout when she's not in the mood. This includes things like turning on the light in the bathroom when she goes potty, dressing herself, and most importantly bedtime things like getting her own drink of water or turning on her music at night.
Last night, when she was giving him a hard time about doing something herself, Husband told Miss D, "You've got to learn to do this by yourself. When the baby comes, Mommy and Daddy are going to need your help. We won't be able to do all these things for you." This being a fairly typical refrain around here, he then went on to say,
H: How much attention do you think you get from me and Mama right now?
Miss D: ...100?
H: That's right. And when the new baby comes, how much attention do you think you will get?
Miss D:......
H: 50. It will only be half as much as you get now.
At the moment it seemed to slide right off her and well, I ended up getting up and turning the bathroom light on. But after she went to bed, we heard her crying around 10pm and Husband went up to check on her. She was sobbing her heart out and saying something about how when the baby came no one would play Zingo with her. Husband calmed her down and said of course there would still be time for Zingo games.
I went upstairs around 20 minutes later and she came into my room, still red-faced and puffy-eyed with the same issue. I took her into her room and said that though things will be different we will always have time to play games with her, and maybe someday her baby brother will be able to play with us too. She will always be our special little girl that we love with all our hearts and no baby will change that.
Oooooo. It's going to be so hard though!
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5 comments:
Definitely a challenging time.
Maybe you can reason with her a little bit, tell her that that 50 can be spent either paying Zingo, or turning on the light. So if she turns on the light then there will be more time for Zingo.
Yeah...at least at her age she can be self-sufficient. When J was born, E had just turned 2, so there was only so much she could do for herself. I know in the beginning, Dan ended up spending much more time with E while I was with J(out of necessity). I think it's a tough, but important lesson that life is bittersweet. Even the best things, like having a sibling, often come with a cost. It just might be hard for her to see the upside of it all for a while, because what she's missing, rather than gaining might be more obvious to her. Lisa
Wow, parenting is hard. You have to have the conversation though, so good for you.
Reminds me of how we feel about our oldest daughter
It is always a tough balance :( But in the end having siblings is so rewarding!
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