This may come as a shock to you, but at one time my youngest sister looked up to me. In an almost hero worship type way. (stop laughing! It's totally true!)
It was for a brief period while I was in college, perhaps due to the fact that I lived far away in a big city like Chicago and we didn't see each other all that often. I made her cool mix tapes in high school. Maybe cause I changed my hair color a lot, or threw crazy college parties- who knows? Even when she went to college in Kalamazoo and we could visit more often it persisted.
To be honest it made me very uncomfortable. I can't really put my finger on why, though I'm sure it has a lot to do with not really feeling worthy of being put on a pedestal by anyone. (Except maybe Husband;) I can't remember exactly what instigated it (I'd like to think I sat her down and told her to knock it off but not sure...) but eventually my shine lost it's luster. And now she just thinks of me as someone who keeps annoying her with questions about visiting Amsterdam.
What made me think of this is that I think I have a new admirer. Our babysitter who lives a couple doors down. She baked us cookies the other day and has been hanging around a lot. I mentioned to my husband that it seemed like she wants to be friends lately (not just employee) and he pointed out that it is ME she comes to see and talk with. AS soon as he said it I got it.
Hey, I can see it from the outside. I am not too much older, with kid, husband and house. I listen to the same kind of music and I'm in a band- that's cool. I'm on the myspace like the kids these days. I have certainly felt that way about women who were older than me who seemed to have it all together. (seemed being the operative there-ho ho!)
She is 22, but has been very sheltered. She has artistic/performance leanings and has talked to me about singing. I like her. She is a totally sweet and awsome girl and I think we could be friends- but it's hard to be friends with someone who doesn't think of you as a person.
Breaking it down to my sister made sense because we already had a relationship and will always have one. So what do I do? Nothing, right?
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4 comments:
Yep, do nothing. Though maybe I'm not the best person to give advice. I've never put anyone on a pedestal, at least that I can recall. Hell, I don't even give proper RESPECT to many professionals. Doctors for instance. They're no one special in my mind, probably because most of the people in my high school could have become doctors fairly easily.
Starting to appreciate my dad more though and all the sacrifices he's made. And my mom, for putting up with my dad!!
Maybe you can gradually show her your 'human side'. Maybe Husband can provide her with a list of things that show your non-deity status.
being the recovering idol-worshipper, I would agree with lakeview. There's nothing you can really do, because the main drivers of such behavior are insecurities in the person themselves. Why else to we have heros if not to inspire in us the courage/traits we wish to have (thanks Joseph Campbell!).
On a wholly separate note, I feel I should also give idol-worship shout outs to the other members of my family in chronological order:
Ages 1-8 : mom-worship
Ages 8-14: no one, teen angst hating everything
Ages 15-22: stef-worship
Ages 22-25: MBA/dad-worship
I would also have worshiped Lisa, but there wasn't time with all the fighting and getting beat up we did :)
AinA - What!? You didn't worship me after I nearly blinded you, left you in a graveyard and ran off, and incessently stole your shirtie (now you all know AinA's darkest secret -- she never had a blankie, she had a shirtie!)??
Stef - While it may make you feel a little uncomfortable, it is really quite flattering that she has a girl-crush on you. She will grow out of it as she gets older and has her own kids/husband/house, etc. and realizes its not as glamorous as it seems! :)
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